Been told and Overheard

Here are a few funny things that I've been told or over heard the last few weeks

• A 6 year old boy on the subway declared that the next stop was "Monster Ave." His dad corrected him and said "Montrose Ave." The little boy replied, "Nope Dad the lady on the train (announcer) said 'Monster Ave' and I am sure it is 'Monster Ave' because that is where school is"
• I asked a 97-year-old patient of mine if she had any children and she replied, "I only had fun, Honey."
• The day my 97-year-old patient was being discharged, I went to say goodbye. It was especially hot in the hospital that day and she had her blankets off. As I was leaving the room, I noticed that her hospital gown was a little high so I came adjusted it. I said something about how I better pull this down a few inches so she doesn't flash the hallway. She said, "Nope, I can't flash people anymore, but it sure used to be fun!"
• During a lecture on antibiotics, a professor said this: "It's like two fat guys trying to get through the same door: it isn't going to happen. You need two doors."
• One of this professor's favorite lines is "You can't kill the gators unless you drain the swamp." I think he enjoyed his time the University of Miami (Hurricanes) trying to beat University of Florida (Gators) too much.
• The best this thing this professor said in all of our surgery lectures: "In Miami in the 1980s, we used ceftriaxone and doxycycline for STDs. Everybody was getting an STD. We still use ceftriaxone and doxycycline to treat STDs--and everyone in Miami is still getting STDs."