Competent

I am about a year and a half away from earning my Doctorate of Medicine.  The end is almost within sight!  A year and a half is a reasonable amount of time--it isn't the far distant future anymore.  That is exciting on one hand and down right scary on the other.  In a year and a half, I will be one of the people who (should) stand up when someone desperately asks for a doctor on a plane or in a busy restaurant.  I will be responsible for others' lives.  I will be a doctor.  Granted, I won't be on my own for at least another 3-5 years of residency training and if I specialize, I will have another 3 or more years of fellowship training before I am solely responsible.  Nonetheless, I wonder almost daily if I am learning enough, if I am working hard enough, if I am competent enough to be a physician.  Am I smart enough?  I think so.  According to my board scores, I am.  For some strange reason that doesn't bring me much condolence now that I am trying to master the clinical sciences.  I feel like I am having a much easier/enjoyable time learning the clinical sciences (medical school years 3 & 4) than I did with the basic sciences (medical school years 1 &2), but am I learning enough?  From talking to residents and attending physicians, everyone goes through these feelings and most people have told me it will get even worse during the intern year (first year of residency).  But as my dear friend Mary told me, "If medical school was easy, everyone would do it."

I should get back to the books...