ICU, I love you!

I have been in the ICU the last few weeks.  I have really enjoyed my time in the ICU.  The patients are the sickest of the sick, which can be depressing at times, but that also means that we (by we, I mean actual doctors) can save lives of incredibly sick people who otherwise wouldn't survive.  It is exciting and as a medical student, it is overwhelming at times because I do not have the skills to manage cases with multiple co-mobilities and I am trying to learn as much as possible from these awesome physicians who do.

We have seen some very, very sick patients.  I saw a person with a tandemheart, which is a cardiac assist device that pumps the blood for the heart.  It isn't the same thing as an LVAD (Left Ventricular Assist Device--as seen on Grey's Anatomy).  Basically they do the same thing, but there are some differences, such as the tandemheart is attached to the patient's leg (yes, I said the leg) and the tandemheart is a short term solution (few days) whereas the patient can live with an LVAD for months (outside of the hospital setting sometimes) while waiting for a heart transplant.  We also saw a patient with anasarca, which is edema all over one's body.  It is one of those things, I read about in medical books and immediately upon seeing the patient knew exactly what it was.  But to be fair, it would be difficult to miss.

There have been a few deaths since we have started in the ICU.  I just hope that as a medical student, that my excitement for medicine has not been interpreted by patient's families as lacking compassion.  There was a woman this week in tears every time the doctor walked into the room.  I just wanted to go give her a hug and tell her everything is going to be alright, but I know that, for her, everything is not going to be alright (and she only speaks Spanish, so I can't even talk to her all I could do was to offer her a pat on the shoulder and a Kleenex).  Someone she loves is dying and at this point, all that is left is to keep that person comfortable.  I think her world is crashing down and there is nothing I can do to help her.

Despite the depressing aspects of the ICU when I left, I felt so alive.  I was more grateful for my health and opportunities I have been afforded, I was excited for the patients who got better and I was relieved that I was comfort some of the patients and family members.