Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Things all patients can learn from two of my patients...

I saw a young male patient, who spoke both Spanish and English, and since he seemed uncomfortable with me in the room and I offered to leave.  The physician that I was working with said, "She doesn't speak Spanish."  Thus, the patient decided that I could stay in the room and they would discuss his problem in Spanish.  To be honest with you, I really didn't care if I stayed or didn't stay because I already had this guy's problem narrowed down to two or three different things just based upon those two sentences...Now, if you decided to keep the medical student in the room and speak in Spanish, I suggest that you do not spend the entire time pointing toward your nether region.  Also, I suggest not pointing to your nether region then taking your hand from a vertical position and flopping it down at the wrist.  These signs transcend all languages and I knew exactly what was going on with this Young Buck.

Another equally animated patient provides some other advice.  Don't check out the medical student in the room and then ask her if she has a boyfriend after learning that you don't have HIV or any sexually transmitted infections (STI). Generally, knowing the HIV and STI status about a potential significant other is wonderful but I am part of your health care team and I can't date you even if you are the Prince of England after being apart of your health care team.  It just makes things really awkward for me, so please don't do it.  However, I think that it was fun when he gave the doctor, nurse and me hi-fives when he learned he didn't have HIV or an STI, so you can do that at your next doctor's appointment.

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